By Barbara Joy, Parenting Coach

With the holidays approaching, it seems like to good time to write some thoughts on finding balance in our busy lives. It seems to be one of the areas that many parents are searching for ways to be able to meet the endless needs of their families and still somehow find time to occasionally do something for themselves.( like getting a good nights sleep or even finding time to take a daily shower.) Any new mom will identify with that one. How to fit a 34 hour day into 24 hours is the question.

I think the answer is simple…not so easy….but it is simple…..Simplify..simplify..simplify……………How do we do that you ask?
You begin by looking at how you are spending your days and then prioritizing what is most important and what areas may need to be put on hold until the kids are older or your schedule opens up a little. Sometimes it can be helpful to make a list of all of your responsibilities and tasks. Some cannot be eliminated. But usually there are a few that you know you can either delegate or simply decline from doing. It takes learning the art of saying “NO.” Our children know the word so well. They have no problem saying no. Maybe we should look to them as the teachers in this area. But seriously, you all have very full-time jobs as a PARENT and if you are spread too thin and not taking care of you, the Truth of it is, you cannot be the effective parent you want to be.

Finding balance that works for ourselves and our family is a challenge for most of us. ( That’s an understatement!!!!!) What works and what is needed changes over time as our family grows and changes. How we do what we do makes the difference for our children and ourselves. As parents, we tend to put our own self and needs on the bottom of the list. The more we create balance within our own life, the more the family as a whole, benefits.

In addition to simplifying and prioritizing, here are a few more tips:

Plan ahead: We become “organizational managers” when we become parents. It seems that when we are organized and one step ahead of the kids instead of 5 steps behind, the day flows more smoothly.

Routine: While the routine frequently changes, children ( and adults too) do better when there is rhythm and consistency in their day. Children feel safe and secure when they know the rhythm. And when they feel secure, their behavior is usally more positive and cooperative.

Keep the stress down: eat healthy foods, exercise in some way everyday and remember to BREATHE. Pausing and taking some deep breaths can help reduce the stress and frustration in the moment. Teach your children to stop and take a few deep breaths with you. They think its fun and they will feel better immediately also. It’s such an easy thing to do ,costs nothing and is always with us. We just need to remember to slow down and do it. Consider having one of the kids make a sign that says BREATHE that you can put on the refrigerator or in some strategic location that will remind you.

Take care of YOU first: remember the saying,”If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” This is a healthy thing to do. It is also modeling for your children that you value your self enough to give to you sometimes.

As we enter this season of great anticipation, excitement and stress, I encourage you remember these key words:
SIMPLIFY
PRIORITIZE
JUST SAY NO
BREATHE
TAKE CARE OF YOU


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