By Barbara Joy, Parenting Coach

Many times, especially at this time of year, parents find ourselves buying a present here and a present there for our children in the planning of our holidays. We get busier and busier with all of the planning. We anticipate how much they are going to love their presents. How happy they are going to be. Ironically, many times as the holidays grow nearer, the children become grumpier and grumpier. You might hear yourself saying,” How can this be? I am planning such a wonderful holiday for them? I am getting them exactly what they want. Why aren’t they happy? Where’s the gratitude? They have so much.”

True, you might be buying them what they say they want. And, I encourage you to look a little deeper. Are you giving them your self ? Are you spending quality time, just being present with them each day ? Do you know that if we just slow down and give our children some real present time, that is a gift that will far outlast the newest toy, computer game, or any other gift under the tree. That is a gift that they will cherish. And you will too. Sometimes we forget or do not fully realize just what a gift we are in our children’s life.
They want us to be present.

Parents… You are the gift to them just as they are to you. Consider this holiday: what would it be like if you gifted each of your children a gift of your Presence every day? It can be as simple as taking the time to read them a special book. Get their baby book out and retell them the story of what it was like when they were born. (They love hearing the story of their arrival ) .It could be just sitting down on the floor and listening to them; listening without distraction , whatever they want to say. To sit and listen to some music. To dance. To take a walk. To decorate some cookies. It doesn’t so much matter what you are doing with them as long as you are genuinely being present to them. Mostly, they just want to be with you………You are the most important gift that you can give your child this season and everyday from here on out.

Perhaps this will be something that you will want to bring with you into the New Year. A commitment to be Present on a daily basis. The only cost of being present is our time. And when they grow up and come back to visit you for the holidays, I believe the memories they share will be about the times that you gave them the gift of your Presence.

YOU ARE THE GIFT!!!!

Copyright 2002, Barbara Joy Inc. All documents, webpages, photographs and images are the property of Barbara Joy, except where noted. Permission is required to copy, download or use any text, photographic or image files.